Voter ID Means You Trade a Poker Chip for a Ballot

black and white poker chip

In 2012, my state passed a voter ID law. As you know, these laws are super effective.

Here in New Hampshire, see, we’re very concerned about people committing voter fraud. That’s when some dastardly individual goes out of his or her way to cast a vote in an election despite being ineligible to do so. Said criminal might be completely ineligible, so that even one vote is illegal, or just completing more than one ballot – say, by sneaking around and impersonating actual registered voters.

By requiring a photo ID to vote, my state and many others have ensured that no dead, imaginary, poor, or no-showing people cast a vote.

As always, of course, the devil’s in the details.

Charlie Daniels: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

It’s only really a problem during his vacations.

At my polling place yesterday, there were two tables set up. One was for folks to get themselves registered if they hadn’t already done so. All registration requires is “proof of identity, age, citizenship, and domicile”, so it’s like pre-checking ID because you’ll still have to prove that you are who you say you are every election.

The second table was divided into five sections: four for ranges of the alphabet, where registered voters with corresponding first letters of their last names waited in lines for their plain, white poker chips; and one for those voters to exchange their poker chips for ballots.

Signing the Declaration - Founders Playing Poker

Just as the founders intended.

A printed boarding pass with one’s name, flight number, and coded airline data is sufficient to get on an airplane because its bearer has already presented ID to security personnel and been searched for contraband before being granted access to the separate waiting area. Similarly, a poker chip handed to you by a poll worker who crosses your name off a list serves as a flawless identification token after milling about in a large room where anyone can leave and re-enter at any time.

Wait, I might have gotten confused there. I meant to say that after already registering with “proof of identity, age, citizenship, and domicile”, needing a photo ID again at the polls is just common sense – especially when showing that ID grants you a cheap, common item that you then give to a completely different person who can’t possibly keep track of everyone being verified in order to receive your single allocated ballot.

In fact, it’s even more fraud-proof than airline security. Instead of just two steps, it has three.

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